Friction

Relationships are so interesting aren't they? They can bring such joy and such misery. You know, I used to be of the opinion that it's best to just be yourself. As long as you're being kind and thoughtful towards others, everything will be fine. As I get older though I am realizing that's just not the case. There are people out there that no matter what, you are going to rub them the wrong way. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's something complicated going on in their life that actually has nothing to do with you, maybe you have nothing in common, maybe they have unmet expectations of you, maybe you are both at different points in life and find it hard to relate to each other, or maybe they're just C-R-A-Z-Y. :) Whatever it is, it happens. The clash of the personalities. My focus verse for the week is Romans 12:18, "If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone." In my experience, "... on your part," some times means holding back. I don't want to say, not being yourself (although some times that is exactly how it feels), but rather holding back a part of yourself that you know triggers a negative response.  It's sad that it has to be this way, but I think in some cases it is necessary in order to live at peace with everyone. Let's face it we can't control other people and how they react to us, but we can control who we are around them. There are beautiful people in life that you find and embrace because the fluidity of your relationship is perfect. You have mutual respect, commonality, and it's refreshing to spend time with them because you don't have to censor yourself. Then there are other relationships that you have to work hard at. I don't think the answer is to run from or to avoid the difficult relationships because there is still good to come out of a high maintenance relationship. Some times, such as in the case of family, you don't really even have that option.

You're right, it's sad. It makes me sad to think that I have to withhold parts of myself around certain people because it "annoys" them. It's frustrating to have to consciously make an effort and follow a certain code around particular people. It's uncomfortable to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around friends or family. I think this is life though. Personalities, relationships, learning to live with difficult people. This is human flaw. It will not be perfect until we leave this place. Until then we have been called to keep the peace no matter what it takes. That may mean saying sorry when you know you didn't do anything wrong. You may have to completely avoid certain subjects because it irritates somebody to talk about it. You may have to watch what you say because someone can't take a joke. You may have to take a break from words and show a person Jesus through your actions alone. I say do what it takes. Treasure the people that you can truly be yourself around, who love and accept you quirks and all, but don't run from a difficult relationship. Naturally, you may not be able to be as close as you would like with somebody that you have to hold parts of yourself back from. I think that's ok though. A dear friend of mine said once, "Some times you have to love at a distance." I agree. 10 years ago if I came across some one who I just couldn't get along with because they had issues with me I wouldn't have wasted my time. These days I am learning to love at a distance. What do you think? Do agree or disagree?

I should add to the above, when troubleshooting has failed...