The World on His Shoulders

Men.  I have always heard that, at the core of a man's identity is his need to provide for his family.  I can see this driving force in my husband as he considers his options for the future or the direction his career is going.  Although I know this fact about men, I have never understood why they possess this relentless impulse to provide.

"When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens - and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground..." Gen. 2:4-5

My aha moment.  You see, man was not created to kick back under a mango tree and simply enjoy God's creation.  Man was created to work the ground.  He was created with a purpose. 

"The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."  Gen. 2:15

Work and providing are at the core of a man's created identity.  God has assigned him this task and put this compulsion in his heart.  I am understanding more and more that his need to provide isn't just a desire of his, it's a burden.  It's wired into his very being, some thing that presses heavily on him.  When we were young in our marriage I didn't understand this.  I didn't respect his desire to provide for us.  I didn't show appreciation for the effort he was putting into his career.  I had my own career and was proud of myself for contributing my own earnings.  No matter the earning capacity of the wife, the husband feels the full burden of providing.  I am naturally independent and self sufficient.  There is nothing wrong with women having a career and earning an income.  However, if this need to provide is at the core of my husband, then it is inevitably linked with deep emotions.  That would explain why his career, income and who makes what has always been a touchy subject in our home.  Young in my marriage I didn't understand this and I spent more time trying to prove myself and show off my own self-reliance instead of reassuring my husband of the good job he was doing providing for us.  If your husband is driven like this, take a moment to thank God for providing him these abilities or opportunities to work and for giving him a sense of responsibility.  Now that I know these things I make an effort to reassure him that he is doing a good job providing for us and to encourage him.  Knowing that his unrelenting desire to provide for us causes him to pursue his career passionately, though it may take him away from us at times, makes me love him all the more.  I couldn't be more proud of my husband.  Understanding and respecting this quality in a man is crucial.

* Everything I highlighted in bold is from this devotional I'm working through called, for Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  Incredible book that absolutely changed my marriage a few years ago.  They just came out with a daily devotional that I am really enjoying.  I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to understand and love their husbands better.