I never knew being a parent, would be this hard. I could fill a bookshelf (or Kindle) with books on how to discipline a child, but no one has written a book on how to discipline my child. If only it were that easy! Parenting is a lot of trial and error. What worked one day might not work the next. You have good weeks and bad weeks. "Challenging" is the perfect word for this age because boy do I feel challenged. My patience, self-control, and love all are being challenged right now! How discouraging it is when your disciplining isn't working and they defy you straight to your face! It's been a frustrating week in our house. My daughter is turning 3 next month and I am beginning to see more clearly that I have been "blessed" with a strong willed child. I like to say, good thing God made me just as stubborn, but she is pushing even my limits man. My Mother is laughing right about now, "My how the tables have turned!" I can almost hear her say mockingly. So today, feeling very defeating after another epic battle over nap time (which I won by the way, !!DING, DING!! Round 1: Kaley 0, Mommy 1), I sat down with God to seek guidance. I prayed for wisdom, how do I discipline this child? Am I doing the right thing being so stern with her? Then I flipped open my Bible for answers. Here is what he showed me, some words of wisdom from the book of Proverbs:
13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
19:18 "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death."
22:15 "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."
23:13 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."
This verse made me smile because I had just finished giving my daughter a spanking and I am always left wondering, did I do the right thing when I physically hurt her? Usually time out's and other creative forms of discipline work for her, but some times nothing brings about results like a good old fashioned swat on the behind! I could almost hear a "roll of the eye" tone, if you will, saying she'll be fine, a spanking won't kill her.
29:17 "Discipline your son and he will bring you peace; he will bring delight to your soul."
These verses encouraged me to keep on keeping on. I hope it encourages you as well. I am doing a good job and I am doing the right thing disciplining her. Being a parent is hard work, a lot harder than I ever could have imagined it being. Rewarding? Yes of course. The yes ma'am, please, and thank you's melt my heart. We'll get there.
Lord, please help me to discipline out of love and not anger. Give me patience and self control when disciplining. Help me to teach her how to obey. Help me to be a better parent and to relentlessly encourage her to grow into the godly woman you desire for her to be. Forgive me for my mistakes. Show me the right way. Help me to raise her with godly discipline and to shower her with love. Give me unconditional love for my children. Please continue to work in my life as well, disciplining me, so I can be a better for mommy for them. Amen.
Oh girl! 2 things... One... If you ever want another book recommendation, I've got one (from college... More about keeping order in the classroom...bur hey, I want order at home too, right?!). You KNOW I don't read... And it's one that I have really appreciated. 2... If only you could see my prayer journal.... Looks like this (everyday) "me-patience, help me discipline with love". EVERYday!!! We'll get there! We REALLY will. Chin up Kelly!!! :-)
ReplyDelete-Katie
I second that, Katie!! As Claire gets older her opinions and determination only get stronger. While I am thankful that I have a little girl who knows what she wants and is hell-bent on getting it, I often pray that God would put that determination to rest for a couple more years! I know consistency is key, and showing her that Mommy is boss and will not back down, but I just have the hardest time saying something to her the same way (with love, yet sternly) 100 times! I can say it the first few times with that stern but loving Mommy voice, but by the 20th time, my blood pressure is sky-high and I'm about to BURST!! Especially when she is blatantly defying me right to my face. We're definitely in a rough patch around here. I really feel like God wants me to homeschool her and that that's what's best for her and our family, but man oh man, I'm ready to ship her off to kindergarten right now and let the public school system have her! Haha! I won't do that, but man. Something needs to change drastically if we're going to do this homeschool thing successfully. *Sigh* It's on my prayer list and I know God hears all our heart cries. Hang in there, mamas. It'll be worth it later on! (At least that's what I say to myself about 1000 times a day!!) :)
ReplyDeleteI remember a major "pivot" in my mothering goals when you and Joel were toddlers. Somewhere I got the idea my job was to keep you happy, no fighting, no tears, no struggles, no meltdowns...but if that is your goal, then many days were a "failure" before your feet hit the floor in the morning because someone is already crying! My pivot was preparing for battle and expecting it as part of my job as a mother. My goal became set smaller goals of consistent obedience,consistent discipline--imparting WISDOM. It was a successful day if I consistently and lovingly discipled you when you didnt come to me when I instructed, "Kelly, come to Mommy!" It wasnt a failure when you didnt, just an opportunity for successful correction. The following week we worked on, "Kelly, Mommy says this is no-no to touch!" hahha not sure we ever had much success on that one, but I successfully applied discipline! You can help your child learn to choose to be happy or be miserable. I remember crawling in bed at night exhausted with the unending opportunities to "apply loving corrections," but I had been consistent, accomplished my goal for that day! The battle had just begun, and would continue tomorrow, but I had victory! I imparted WISDOM(some kids need more than others)I was not SHAMED, my children were not left to their own foolish ways!!!
ReplyDeleteThe rod and reproof bring wisdom, but a child who gets his/her own way brings shame to the mother. (Prov 29:15)
Moms--IMPART WISDOM!!