Moving into a new phase.
My daughter is turning 4 years old this summer. I feel like at this age she definitely requires a lot more stimulation than just playing with toys, watching movies, play dates, or helping me around the house. I have been homeschooling her while my 15 month old naps in the morning. She loves doing "school" and it has been working out pretty well ... until lately.
Now my son is getting older and I think he is getting ready to drop his morning nap. Great. He's not very good at entertaining himself. He wants to do whatever his big sister is doing, so if she is sitting up at the table coloring or doing worksheets, well then he wants to do that too. He loves me and is always at my side demanding my full attention. I'm not really sure what to do with him half the time when I have to actually get something done around the house. He's at a difficult age. Not old enough to color, not interested in television. He's very mischievous and some times I feel like I spend the whole day pulling him out of trash cans and cleaning up messes he makes. His morning nap has been a nice break for me to focus on my daughter or catch up on housework. What do I do when it's gone?!
I am finding it hard to balance my 4 year old and her needs, my "adventurous" 15 month old, my 7 month pregnant self, housework, cooking, laundry ... oh and some where in there I'm supposed to squeeze in exercise for a healthy pregnancy so I don't morph into a whale.
AND soon a newborn is going to join the picture:
Bored 4 year old + needy mischievous toddler + breast feeding newborn + sleep deprived mom = ?
So here is where I begin to panic just a little bit. How do you balance everything?
For now, I am trying a new strategy. Normally after breakfast I attempt to get a few things done around the house and encourage the kids to entertain themselves, cross my fingers and hope they play nicely with each other long enough to clean up the kitchen or get laundry started. It hasn't been going so well lately. They're bored. I try to set Kaley up with something to do, but it doesn't take long before Mr. Destructo comes along and aggravates her. Toys? Why did I even bother buying them in the first place? The only thing he wants to play with are DVD's, cellphones, and anything that makes me say, "No-no!" when he touches it. If we have an outing I usually wait until after Joshua's morning nap, however lately he's been going down later which messes with his afternoon nap (or shall I say my nap). So, instead I am going to try taking the kids out first thing after breakfast and see if I can squeeze in my other responsibilities later on in the day. We're going to take a visit to the museum tomorrow.
I think stay-at-home-moms experience guilt just like working moms do. Am I doing what's best for my kids? It's hard to distribute your time and attention evenly. There are good days and bad days. On bad days balance seems impossible. If my kids are happy then the house is a wreck and dinner is late, which makes the husband unhappy. If the house is clean and dinners on the table at a decent time then my husband is happy, but the kids are falling apart.
My mom guilt stems from either A. The Kids - have I given them the attention they need, stimulated their brains enough, kept them entertained, and most importantly are they happy? B. The House - is the laundry done, kitchen clean, dinner made, housework complete? C. My Husband - basically if the house is not clean or food made then he is unhappy, though he claims he would never put such pressure on me. Right. D. My Pregnancy - am I getting enough sleep (haha), eating healthy, exercising (what?! who has time for that?? and why doesn't chasing around 2 kids all day count?!), resting (also a joke), and taking care of myself? I am constantly feeling guilty about not doing enough because I just can't balance it all successfully everyday.
*sigh*
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
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